It’s the holiday season, when we are bombarded by commercials of people in love, engagement announcements all over facebook, and incessant reminders that apparently we’re supposed to be in a relationship this time of year and if we’re not, we’re probably super depressed. I was reminded of this way of thinking when I sat down at my desk today and received an email from a coworker who is trying to set me up with a guy her daughter knows. Please note: I barely know her daughter, I don’t know this guy, he doesn’t even live in the same state, we’re from polar opposite hometowns, and now he has my email address to contact me if he should so please. Awesome.
I started thinking about my love life.. the far-too-long line of morons who’ve broken my heart and the hours I spent hoping things would work out, drying my tears and praying endlessly to keep hope that someday my prince will come. It’s hard enough being a single girl the rest of the year, let a lone during the holidays when everything, and apparently everyone, around us is screaming “You’re a LOSER if you’re single for Christmas!!”
Well guess what I have to say to that…. KISS MY ASSsssicle.
I admit, I usually feel a little blue about being “alone” during the holidays, having never had a serious relationship to look back on. But this year, I hadn’t even thought about it. I was just going through each day, working a lot, enjoying my family and friends, and holding onto the knowledge that Mr. Right is out there somewhere for some day in the future. I was okay with it, because it’s kinda my doing anyway. But thanks to the email this morning, and a friend asking if I’ve “met any guys” FAR more frequently than necessary, that stupid ideology is nagging at the back of my mind.
When I should be celebrating the fact that I’m really okay with being single and looking for the right guy, I’m distracted by everyone else’s misguided feelings of sympathy. I do NOT in any way feel sad or sorry for myself, so there is absolutely no reason for anyone else in my life to feel that way about me. I know their hearts are in the right place, but I don’t think they realize that their pity just makes me feel things that aren’t true! The truth is, I’ve met TONS of guys. I’ve gone on a fair amount of dates in the last 6 months. I’ve gone on blind dates, I’ve gone on second dates, I’ve gone on friendly excursions that turn in to something more. In the last five months, I’ve had my heart-broken again and I’ve had to re-teach myself that I shouldn’t settle for anyone less than what I deserve, so that’s what I’m looking for on my own terms.
So yeah, I’m single, but I’m not a lonely spinster collecting cats. I’m just a strong, independent woman who knows what she doesn’t want in life, who knows she’s worth a lot more than empty promises and settling for someone she doesn’t want to be with just because he wants to be with her. Maybe I’m too picky, but I’m sure as hell not gonna be unhappy when I do find the guy I’m meant to settle down with!
So, I’m here today to spread some love for all my single girls and to remind you of some important things: Don’t you dare feel like a loser because you’re single for Christmas. Don’t you dare let the Santa-filled jewelry commercials and His and Her stocking stuffers get you down. Don’t you dare forget what a strong, beautiful, intelligent and WORTHY young woman YOU are just because the world may tell you that you have to be in a relationship to feel those things. Don’t you forget that you are loved by your family, friends and God, and that someday, when you’re ready, your Prince Charming will come along to kiss you under the mistletoe.
Okay, rant over, enjoy your day.
– Editing Note: Just saw this post, A Single’s Guide for Happiness, by a fellow blogger… apparently I’m not the only one feeling the pressure to be in a relationship these days! These are fantastic tips. Enjoy!