I’ve got some things going on in my personal life, and while I’d love to go into detail with y’all, it’s more fun with a little mystery. Regardless, I’ve been thinking a lot about my failed relationships. Some from a long time ago, and some more recently, and while I’m completely over all of them, I have come to one conclusion: JEALOUSY IS A LITTLE BITCH.
Seriously, she is. And she’s stealthy at that! A stealthy little bitch who sneaks up on you when you don’t expect it. She comes seeping into your cycle of thoughts when you think you’re anything BUT close to her. Even though you know you don’t want what the other person has, not in the long run, and you know you’re winning, she slyly wraps herself around your heart and head until you can literally feel her green-vengeful wrath creeping up your spinal chord. You’re haunted by dreams of once desired happily ever afters, stress-related word vomit ensues about anything and every annoyance in the rest of your life, you find yourself singing “I’m Still In Love With Who I Wish You Were” in the fricken shower. (Great song, Bee.Tee.Dubs)
JEALOUSY IS A LITTLE BITCH. Hell, she’s not even little, she’s just a bitch. She’s leaves you feeling sorry for yourself, while torturously replaying the scenes of the past on huge movie screens in you head. You know the ones, the scenes before Happily Ever After became NOPE, He’s Just An ASS Too! Jealousy plants images of you blissfully skipping along the path to the land of All Your Dreams Come True, even though you KNOW you don’t want that, you just don’t want HIM to be happy!
BITCH, BITCH, BITCH! AND she can’t just torture you herself. OH NOOOO that’s not bad enough, SO brings along her equally bitchy friends, Self-Pity and Anger, to reek more havoc on your sanity. My God! They’re like the Mean Girls of the emotional cafeteria!!
UGH, what gets me more is how completely appallingly EASY it is to be seduced by Jealousy’s covetous energy, even though you hate yourself for it – especially because you’re not usually the jealous type. Usually, you’re happy for everyone, you know everything works out for a reason, you know that you’re better off, you’re kind of obnoxious in optimism. One whiff of Jealousy’s plaguing perfume and all your logic is hidden behind green-colored glasses, till you think you should be admitted to the nearest padded room.
I don’t even have any words of wisdom to fight her off! Sheer defiance I guess, and maybe some wine? I don’t know. I could go on, but I think you’ve gotten the gist of my thoughts here, albeit with copious amounts of hyperbole.
Til Next Time,