Wine-Induced Ramblings on “The One”

I’ve always been a firm believer in “The One.”  That someone is out there in the world who will be your perfect match; will be the person God intended for you; the person who you’re meant to spend the rest of your days with.  It may not be easy to find them, and it may take going through some very wrong people to get to them, but they’re out there.  I’ve seen it. 

I’ve seen it in the faces of my parents, my sister, my uncle, my best friend.  I’ve seen high school sweethearts finally say “I do” after years of long-distance, I’ve seen friendships finally turn into long-lasting love, I’ve seen a man go through heart-breaking hell, to finally find and marry the woman he’d been searching for, for many years.  I’ve seen it.

But, I’m starting to fear that maybe it doesn’t happen for everyone.  How many people out there end up with someone who isn’t The One.  How many people settle for second best, and may never know it?  For as firm a believer as I am in God’s Plan, what if His plan means that The One and you aren’t meant to be together in this life?

What if you think you may have seen it, may have felt it, but for reasons out of your control, you can’t reach out and grab it?  Do you know what I’m talking about?  Have you ever met someone who took your breath away, within minutes of meeting?  Who seemed to meet all the qualifications your heart had been holding out for?  Someone who you find yourself missing, even though you barely know him?  Someone who, when you’re having a lovely conversation with a blind date, abruptly throws himself into the forefront of your mind, and makes you suddenly wish you were getting to know him better, instead of the “just okay” guy you’re having drinks with?

What happens if you meet The One, but never get a chance at it?  Does that make him NOT the one?  I’m not sure.  What if you never get the chance to find out?  I know I’m not making much sense – two large glasses of Sangria and a Pumpkin Blizzard sugar-high can do that to a blogger – but my head is spinning with Should I’s and What If’s and the worry that I may never meet The One, or that I already have but didn’t know it for sure.  That The One may have waltzed in and out of my life just as quickly as I was flipped head over heels. It makes you feel completely insane, completely, and utterly get-me-a-straight-jacket irrational. It may even make you feel pathetic. 

But what if, while you’re sitting alone on the couch on a Friday night, eating more ice cream calories than you care to think about, you’re missing out on the greatest opportunity you’ve ever been presented?  While you’re holding onto the thought that “everything happens for a reason,” and “whatever is meant to be, will be”  something inside of you is SCREAMING to do something about it.  To avoid the What Ifs, and makes the Should I’s seem so much more appealing.  But in the end, your fear overcomes the courageous voice inside of you, and turns the screaming into soft murmurs.

How many people have missed their chance with The One, because the murmurs never found their voice, because the fates had other plans, because eventually you give up on the Should I’s and What If’s and find second best, even if you don’t know that’s really what he is?

What if, for this hopeless romantic trying so hard to hold onto her beliefs, it turns out there really is no such thing as The One?

What if…

Scroogentines – A Heart-Felt Rant on Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day you Beautiful, Wonderful Readers of Mine!!  I hope you are giving love and feeling loved today!  Just so you know, I love you for reading the silly things I have to say, and would send you all a lovely box of chocolates if I could!

There are so many people in my life, some of my most favorite people actually, who are all sorts of sour about this holiday.  It’s the commercialism about it all and the “I love him every day” mantra that has made these people what I like to call Scroogentines. (Copyright that ish).  A Scroogentine is a person who thoroughly dislikes this “made up” holiday because it’s a silly waste of time and resources, and they prefer to pretend like it doesn’t exist.

Well, maybe I’m just a hopeless romantic, but Scroogentines make me sad and frustrated.  I know everyone is entitled to their own thoughts and opinions, but I’m sorry, I just don’t understand this one!  I also know I touched on this last week, but since this is my blog, a place where I’m to express my thoughts and feelings on things that affect us as Twenty-Somethings and people, here’s what I have to say:

“Valentine’s Day is commercialized and people spend money on things they probably don’t need.”  UM YEAH?! SO WHAT?!  How many times do you spend money on useless things YOU don’t need for YOURSELF that do nothing to make someone else feel good? Huh? Yeah, let that simmer.  I know I do it… I’ve got lengthy Wal-Mart receipts to prove it!

I agree that Valentine’s Day has become this über expensive mess of commercialism.  I agree that it is completely unnecessary to shell out loads of money for jewelry, designer bags,  and whatever it may be that sends millions of men to the mall each year, under tons of pressure, to get the right gift.  But this is no reason to become a Scroogentine!  Who says we have to spend a lot of money on things to show we care?  A little token of affection can go a long way, and THAT’S what Valentine’s Day should be about! Remember how fun it was to stuff little paper hearts into decorated cardboard shoeboxes when we were kids?  We, as a nation, made this a crazy shopping day by adhering to this “rule” that the best way to show affection is through expensive merchandise; that “Every Kiss Begins With Kay.”

However, we also have the power to Just Say No!  You remember that mantra, right?   Let us remember, there is no actual rule saying that you MUST shower your loved one with presents off Kim K’s wedding registry.  And ladies, STOP EXPECTING THEM!  No, your man should not forget about you on Valentine’s Day, but do you really need him to buy you an “open heart” necklace to know he loves you?  If so, girlfriend, you have bigger problems!

So what if Valentine’s Day is commercialized? So what if it’s frivolous?  How much money did you spend on a costume for Halloween – a holiday that doesn’t have much meaning at all? At least people are spending money on things to express their love for one another, right?

That brings me to my next point:  Why would you want to be a Scroogentine, on the one holiday each year that is dedicated to the most beautiful gift anyone can ever give or receive? I’m talking about LOVE here, folks. SO WHAT if it’s frivolous? SO WHAT if it’s silly? SO WHAT if you share your love every day? Instead of looking at it in the negative, think of it this way – you have been given a free pass to bask in the glow of being in love.  You’ve been given a free pass to smile like a kid in a candy store, wear red pants, give out and eat candies.  You’ve been given a free pass to remember that life is supposed to be fun – that we are SUPPOSED TO CELEBRATE THE GOOD THINGS! Carpe Diem kids, you only get one life! Why spend an entire day fighting against a tide that’s all about the love?  Seems like a waste of a perfectly lovely day, don’t you think?

Besides, let’s be real, don’t you sometimes forget to count your blessings?  I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always remember how lucky I am to have all the love I do – How BLESSED I am.  In the hustle and bustle of every day life, with the deadlines, the cranky clients, the broken toilet seats (yes I have one), the horror stories on the nightly news, the electric bills, the snow clouds, the heart breaks, the frustrations of This and That, we all need a reminder, like Valentine’s Day, to stop and cherish the people we have who love us and who we are lucky enough to love.

We all need to “stop and smell the roses,” because life and love are precious.  Valentine’s Day gives us that opportunity… all you have to do is take it.

SO WHAT if you act on  your love every day?  You can’t over-express how much you love someone. You can’t say “I love you” too many times – you just can’t – it’s impossible.   It’s the one phrase that never gets old, that never sounds silly, that never loses it’s meaning. But, it IS the one phrase you may regret not saying enough; the one thing you’ll long to hear and wish you could say when you can’t anymore, the one you may forget to say when you should.  I think Valentine’s Day should be celebrated by all, simply because it might make the world a better place if the Scroogentines just get on board the Love-train!  It might make the world a better place if we take February 14th’s reminder that LOVE IS OUT THERE.  It exists in many ways, big and small, it brings people together, it heals wounds, it creates life, it makes the world go round!

So Scroogentine’s, just STOP IT!  Put away your rolling eyes, snarky remarks and grumpy faces, and just embrace today for all that it is, or all that it can be.  It’s not gonna hurt you, but watch out! – It might just make you smile.

Okay, END RANT.

XO, Stephanie

My Take on Valentine’s Day

Happy Monday!

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend, and are getting some of the sunshine that’s pouring through my office’s windows right now.  It’s hard to believe it’s really February, with all the spring-like weather we’ve been enjoying in Western PA, but, it really is February 6th, and Valentine’s Day is just around the corner…

I have a love/hate (no pun intended) relationship with Valentine’s Day.  As you know, I’m perpetually single, so this holiday doesn’t really thrill me in its truest sense.  It  annoys me how this one silly day has gained such a stigma and can make singles feel like they’re missing out or not as special as couples.  It’s easy to start being a bitter-betty when seeing all those cute commercials for sparkly diamonds and bouquets of roses, but I have my own solution to ward off the ValenDOOM’s Day blues and it’s super, super easy.  As the Beatles say:  All You Need Is Love.

Yep, that’s right, on Valentine’s Day, I don’t think about what love I may or may not be missing.  I think about all the love I HAVE and I spend the day celebrating in it.  Afterall, that’s what this holiday is all about!!  It’s not just for happy lovers – though RIGHT ON to all of them – it’s about celebrating all the types of love around you – love of God, family, friends, coworkers, pets, whatever it may be!  This goes for all you reading this – single or not!

In celebrating, I always like to do something festive or special. Whether it be decorating sugar cookies to leave out for clients, sending my baby brother a card, or wearing my favorite red ensemble, I embrace the holiday!

This year, I’m going to make some chocolate covered strawberries for my coworkers.  We’re a dysfunctional family of crazies, and though sometimes we can’t stand each other, at the end of the day, I know these people care about me, and I care about them.  Since the holiday falls on a work-day, I figured, what better way to celebrate than giving them all a little some delicious and made with my love!

Plus, they’re SO easy to make!  (Here’s a quick recipe if you wanna make your own.) I plan on covering them in melted milk and dark chocolate, drizzling some with white chocolate or peanut butter and maybe even rolling a few in pretzel bits for added crunch.  I’m getting hungry just thinking about it. YUMTASTIC.

The bottom line is, I think this is a holiday to be celebrated fully for no other reason that it’s a great reminder that we all are loved in some way, but someone, and we have a lot of love to share with those around us – so, why not put on our best red sweaters and silly smiles and dive right in?

What will you be doing for Valentine’s Day?  I’m seriously curious, so leave a comment below!

XO – Stephanie

Jealousy is a Bitch.

I’ve got some things going on in my personal life, and while I’d love to go into detail with y’all, it’s more fun with a little mystery. Regardless, I’ve been thinking a lot about my failed relationships. Some from a long time ago, and some more recently, and while I’m completely over all of them, I have come to one conclusion: JEALOUSY IS A LITTLE BITCH.

Seriously, she is. And she’s stealthy at that! A stealthy little bitch who sneaks up on you when you don’t expect it. She comes seeping into your cycle of thoughts when you think you’re anything BUT close to her. Even though you know you don’t want what the other person has, not in the long run, and you know you’re winning, she slyly wraps herself around your heart and head until you can literally feel her green-vengeful wrath creeping up your spinal chord. You’re haunted by dreams of once desired happily ever afters, stress-related word vomit ensues about anything and every annoyance in the rest of your life, you find yourself singing “I’m Still In Love With Who I Wish You Were” in the fricken shower. (Great song, Bee.Tee.Dubs)

JEALOUSY IS A LITTLE BITCH. Hell, she’s not even little, she’s just a bitch. She’s leaves you feeling sorry for yourself, while torturously replaying the scenes of the past on huge movie screens in you head. You know the ones, the scenes before Happily Ever After became NOPE, He’s Just An ASS Too! Jealousy plants images of you blissfully skipping along the path to the land of All Your Dreams Come True, even though you KNOW you don’t want that, you just don’t want HIM to be happy!

BITCH, BITCH, BITCH! AND she can’t just torture you herself. OH NOOOO that’s not bad enough, SO brings along her equally bitchy friends, Self-Pity and Anger, to reek more havoc on your sanity. My God! They’re like the Mean Girls of the emotional cafeteria!!

UGH, what gets me more is how completely appallingly EASY it is to be seduced by Jealousy’s covetous energy, even though you hate yourself for it – especially because you’re not usually the jealous type. Usually, you’re happy for everyone, you know everything works out for a reason, you know that you’re better off, you’re kind of obnoxious in optimism. One whiff of Jealousy’s plaguing perfume and all your logic is hidden behind green-colored glasses, till you think you should be admitted to the nearest padded room.

I don’t even have any words of wisdom to fight her off! Sheer defiance I guess, and maybe some wine? I don’t know. I could go on, but I think you’ve gotten the gist of my thoughts here, albeit with copious amounts of hyperbole.

Til Next Time,

– Stephanie