I’ve always been a firm believer in “The One.” That someone is out there in the world who will be your perfect match; will be the person God intended for you; the person who you’re meant to spend the rest of your days with. It may not be easy to find them, and it may take going through some very wrong people to get to them, but they’re out there. I’ve seen it.
I’ve seen it in the faces of my parents, my sister, my uncle, my best friend. I’ve seen high school sweethearts finally say “I do” after years of long-distance, I’ve seen friendships finally turn into long-lasting love, I’ve seen a man go through heart-breaking hell, to finally find and marry the woman he’d been searching for, for many years. I’ve seen it.
But, I’m starting to fear that maybe it doesn’t happen for everyone. How many people out there end up with someone who isn’t The One. How many people settle for second best, and may never know it? For as firm a believer as I am in God’s Plan, what if His plan means that The One and you aren’t meant to be together in this life?
What if you think you may have seen it, may have felt it, but for reasons out of your control, you can’t reach out and grab it? Do you know what I’m talking about? Have you ever met someone who took your breath away, within minutes of meeting? Who seemed to meet all the qualifications your heart had been holding out for? Someone who you find yourself missing, even though you barely know him? Someone who, when you’re having a lovely conversation with a blind date, abruptly throws himself into the forefront of your mind, and makes you suddenly wish you were getting to know him better, instead of the “just okay” guy you’re having drinks with?
What happens if you meet The One, but never get a chance at it? Does that make him NOT the one? I’m not sure. What if you never get the chance to find out? I know I’m not making much sense – two large glasses of Sangria and a Pumpkin Blizzard sugar-high can do that to a blogger – but my head is spinning with Should I’s and What If’s and the worry that I may never meet The One, or that I already have but didn’t know it for sure. That The One may have waltzed in and out of my life just as quickly as I was flipped head over heels. It makes you feel completely insane, completely, and utterly get-me-a-straight-jacket irrational. It may even make you feel pathetic.
But what if, while you’re sitting alone on the couch on a Friday night, eating more ice cream calories than you care to think about, you’re missing out on the greatest opportunity you’ve ever been presented? While you’re holding onto the thought that “everything happens for a reason,” and “whatever is meant to be, will be” something inside of you is SCREAMING to do something about it. To avoid the What Ifs, and makes the Should I’s seem so much more appealing. But in the end, your fear overcomes the courageous voice inside of you, and turns the screaming into soft murmurs.
How many people have missed their chance with The One, because the murmurs never found their voice, because the fates had other plans, because eventually you give up on the Should I’s and What If’s and find second best, even if you don’t know that’s really what he is?
What if, for this hopeless romantic trying so hard to hold onto her beliefs, it turns out there really is no such thing as The One?