Wine-Induced Ramblings on “The One”

I’ve always been a firm believer in “The One.”  That someone is out there in the world who will be your perfect match; will be the person God intended for you; the person who you’re meant to spend the rest of your days with.  It may not be easy to find them, and it may take going through some very wrong people to get to them, but they’re out there.  I’ve seen it. 

I’ve seen it in the faces of my parents, my sister, my uncle, my best friend.  I’ve seen high school sweethearts finally say “I do” after years of long-distance, I’ve seen friendships finally turn into long-lasting love, I’ve seen a man go through heart-breaking hell, to finally find and marry the woman he’d been searching for, for many years.  I’ve seen it.

But, I’m starting to fear that maybe it doesn’t happen for everyone.  How many people out there end up with someone who isn’t The One.  How many people settle for second best, and may never know it?  For as firm a believer as I am in God’s Plan, what if His plan means that The One and you aren’t meant to be together in this life?

What if you think you may have seen it, may have felt it, but for reasons out of your control, you can’t reach out and grab it?  Do you know what I’m talking about?  Have you ever met someone who took your breath away, within minutes of meeting?  Who seemed to meet all the qualifications your heart had been holding out for?  Someone who you find yourself missing, even though you barely know him?  Someone who, when you’re having a lovely conversation with a blind date, abruptly throws himself into the forefront of your mind, and makes you suddenly wish you were getting to know him better, instead of the “just okay” guy you’re having drinks with?

What happens if you meet The One, but never get a chance at it?  Does that make him NOT the one?  I’m not sure.  What if you never get the chance to find out?  I know I’m not making much sense – two large glasses of Sangria and a Pumpkin Blizzard sugar-high can do that to a blogger – but my head is spinning with Should I’s and What If’s and the worry that I may never meet The One, or that I already have but didn’t know it for sure.  That The One may have waltzed in and out of my life just as quickly as I was flipped head over heels. It makes you feel completely insane, completely, and utterly get-me-a-straight-jacket irrational. It may even make you feel pathetic. 

But what if, while you’re sitting alone on the couch on a Friday night, eating more ice cream calories than you care to think about, you’re missing out on the greatest opportunity you’ve ever been presented?  While you’re holding onto the thought that “everything happens for a reason,” and “whatever is meant to be, will be”  something inside of you is SCREAMING to do something about it.  To avoid the What Ifs, and makes the Should I’s seem so much more appealing.  But in the end, your fear overcomes the courageous voice inside of you, and turns the screaming into soft murmurs.

How many people have missed their chance with The One, because the murmurs never found their voice, because the fates had other plans, because eventually you give up on the Should I’s and What If’s and find second best, even if you don’t know that’s really what he is?

What if, for this hopeless romantic trying so hard to hold onto her beliefs, it turns out there really is no such thing as The One?

What if…

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Jealousy is a Bitch.

I’ve got some things going on in my personal life, and while I’d love to go into detail with y’all, it’s more fun with a little mystery. Regardless, I’ve been thinking a lot about my failed relationships. Some from a long time ago, and some more recently, and while I’m completely over all of them, I have come to one conclusion: JEALOUSY IS A LITTLE BITCH.

Seriously, she is. And she’s stealthy at that! A stealthy little bitch who sneaks up on you when you don’t expect it. She comes seeping into your cycle of thoughts when you think you’re anything BUT close to her. Even though you know you don’t want what the other person has, not in the long run, and you know you’re winning, she slyly wraps herself around your heart and head until you can literally feel her green-vengeful wrath creeping up your spinal chord. You’re haunted by dreams of once desired happily ever afters, stress-related word vomit ensues about anything and every annoyance in the rest of your life, you find yourself singing “I’m Still In Love With Who I Wish You Were” in the fricken shower. (Great song, Bee.Tee.Dubs)

JEALOUSY IS A LITTLE BITCH. Hell, she’s not even little, she’s just a bitch. She’s leaves you feeling sorry for yourself, while torturously replaying the scenes of the past on huge movie screens in you head. You know the ones, the scenes before Happily Ever After became NOPE, He’s Just An ASS Too! Jealousy plants images of you blissfully skipping along the path to the land of All Your Dreams Come True, even though you KNOW you don’t want that, you just don’t want HIM to be happy!

BITCH, BITCH, BITCH! AND she can’t just torture you herself. OH NOOOO that’s not bad enough, SO brings along her equally bitchy friends, Self-Pity and Anger, to reek more havoc on your sanity. My God! They’re like the Mean Girls of the emotional cafeteria!!

UGH, what gets me more is how completely appallingly EASY it is to be seduced by Jealousy’s covetous energy, even though you hate yourself for it – especially because you’re not usually the jealous type. Usually, you’re happy for everyone, you know everything works out for a reason, you know that you’re better off, you’re kind of obnoxious in optimism. One whiff of Jealousy’s plaguing perfume and all your logic is hidden behind green-colored glasses, till you think you should be admitted to the nearest padded room.

I don’t even have any words of wisdom to fight her off! Sheer defiance I guess, and maybe some wine? I don’t know. I could go on, but I think you’ve gotten the gist of my thoughts here, albeit with copious amounts of hyperbole.

Til Next Time,

– Stephanie